I can’t stop thinking about my Ina May Gaskin experience and of course it’s all the more in my head because I am reading her book, Birth Matters. And the more I think about certain points she brings up, the more I understand, the more I realize how some of us are overly-sensitive and missing the point, and the more I see that something really truly must change in order to make the act of birth better in this country.
I know women working to make this change. I’m doing my best to bring awareness. Christie, my Daily Momtra co-founder, also writes about it. London King, my incredible doula, empowers women with her knowledge. And thankfully there are many more. But I’m worried. Even with the brigade of brilliance — Ina May leading the way — the c-section rates continue to rise and rise and rise. And it’s not that I think c-sections are bad when they are necessary — I had one — it’s just that some people fail to see what this issue is really about. It’s not that any woman who gets a c-section is a terrible person. Nope. Not that. It’s not even that the women who elect to get a c-section are “bad.” Nope. Not that either. It’s that some of those women are misled. Misinformed. And it’s not their fault.
Our society is led by far too many obstetricians who are taking everything natural out of childbirth. And we trust doctors. And we have fear of birth. And when you fear something and continue to fear it, that fear just grows and grows until it’s a paralyzing fear making women sign up for a “pain free” delivery with epidurals and c-sections. Being a c-section mom, I can tell you (and I did write about it at length) that a c-section isn’t an out for pain. Sure, I was numb and felt nothing. But that empty nothing feeling lasted for a few days and that is not how any mother should elect to feel after the birth of a baby. That’s deep pain, too. The kind of deep that creeps out and makes me cry even 15 months after the fact. And of course, the recovery from a c-section isn’t pain-free. In fact it’s really painful. Emotionally and physically. Unless you want to be doped up on drugs and elect again not to feel the natural and incredibly amazing high you get from being present with your baby.
If the scared to birth mentality continues and doctors continue to offer women an “out” in their birth like it’s no big deal, then everything that is natural and beautiful and amazing about birth gets lost. Disappears. Gone. If we continue at the rate we have been going, in the not too distant future we could be looking at a 50 percent c-section rate. Maybe even a 90 percent c-section rate (like they have in Brazil). And you know what that means? More maternal deaths. More newborn deaths. More disconnects to our kids. More disconnects to humanity.
We all need to wake up about this. Correction. MORE of us need to wake up about this. And I get so baffled when some feel that women who proudly talk about their all natural birth or are like Gina and live blogging her home birth are show offs or want attention and while I can’t speak for them I can say that this is exactly the kind of attention natural birth needs. We need this. Thank you to all women who talk about it! We need real women showing how it can be done. Real women saying hey doctor, I had a c-section once and guess what? I’m home birthing now! Real women showing other real women that birth isn’t to be feared.
There is nothing more natural than birth. It’s how we exist as a society. How we birth matters. It’s too important not to matter. Do we really want to find out what happens if we continue to seriously mess with mother nature?
*Image of my son Hunter shortly after birth.
Tags: c-section, natural birth
Thank you. So very beautiful.
Wow, sounds like you had a terrible c-section and some PPD to go with it. I had one vaginal birth, and two very beautiful c-sections, and never once felt empty inside.
These types of comments, this “holier than thou” attitude, is so wrong. “Well *I* had a cesarean and *I* didn’t get PPD. Hmmph!” Seriously lady?! Maybe the way you worded yourself came out wrong but you sound a little self righteous. A lesson in compassion could do you some good. And I think you missed the point of the post. Women feel empty about their birth, even vaginal births gone wrong where they felt utterly violated. It’s a real thing. I’m glad YOU didn’t go through it but let’s try to not rub that in other peoples’ faces. Women are violated in the delivery room every single solitary day.
To Michele I say you couldn’t be more spot on! Birth MATTERS not only to the mother but to the baby as well. I’m all for cesareans when they are absolutely necessary to save lives but when done habitually or for no medical reason I can’t help but cringe for that baby, for the bonding time missed, for the mom’s recovery, for everything. Thank you for bringing awareness! I am trying to do my part as well!
Please don’t *EVER* say this to another mom who has had a section and may feel like there’s something wrong with them because they DID have PPD and DID feel like their section robbed them of an experience.
I had preeclampsia with HELLP, Jenna, so it was tough. But that’s just one part of this post. And know my twins had to be delivered by c-section and in it’s own way was beautiful because we all made it through. But this isn’t about being empty inside, it’s about how we need to trust birth and trust our bodies.
This is beautiful, Michele, and made me cry. I’m a “birth warrior” too and I’m fighting this fight alongside you, my dear. <3
This is beautiful, Michele, and made me cry. I’m a birth warrior too and I’m fighting this fight alongside you, my dear.
People don’t realize the long term effects of c-sections. I had a very scary birth experience the second time around- I was fully prepared and willing to go the distance with my second… but my body didn’t agree and things went for the worst. Ended up with an unplanned c-section. I (accidentally) got pregnant again for a third time, and knew that I couldn’t risk it. Opted for a scheduled section… and suffered ever since. Constant pain for 2 years until they removed my uterus. Truth was that I had a condition that was made worse due to the c-sections and caused me more trouble than I would wish on an enemy.
I didn’t have a choice. But so many do- and it saddens me that women would elect to have such a major surgery done for no reason. With out even batting an eye in regards to the dangers involved. How can we be so careless and crash about it?
@Jenna-I think it’s safe to say that a lot of women who have c sections feel that way. And it’s not about feeling empty inside. I’m glad you had good c section experiences and are happy with them, but you are in the minority.
Why have unnecessary surgery when you can birth your baby naturally? Women today ARE incredibly mislead by the medical community about the safety of birth and the ability of their bodies. Many women have c sections for no medical reason other than the doctors impatience and convenience. “failure to progress” and “Macrosomia” are in most cases the doctors way of saying ” I don’t want to wait for your baby to born, I want to be home by dinner.” or ” I really have no idea how big your baby is going to be but again, I want to be home by dinner.”
Something needs to be done about the state of birth in this country.
I agree %100 with you, I have had 2 unnecessary c-sections, and Im planning my VBA2C next month. Im glad that there are women out there who don’t feel bothered by their c-sections but like PP said they are definitely in the minority! I was very young with my first and believe a lot of what they told me, I trusted that Doctors always want whats best for their patients…ha! So even though my recovery was horrible, I was thankful for my baby, however my 2nd was a RCS just because I already had one, I felt very empty inside. He was just taken out of me, saw his mommy for few seconds and went away to the nursery. I missed out on crucial bonding time, I had PPD I think due to my birth experience with him. It was like I was brought in just for surgery, not to birth my baby. Maternity care in the US needs to change, and Im hoping that with Authors like Ina May Gaskin, other mommy bloggers like you and Gina the word will get out how natural childbirth is normal! We need to trust our bodies!
Something rarely mentioned in CS discussions in health impact on the infant; not only increased risk of respiratory issues but also longer term in terms of gut proliferation and health.
If a CS is required then this impact is insignificant compared to the alternative, but when it’s a choice I think it should be discussed more.
See now, I didn’t take Jenna’s comment like that at all. Perhaps I am biased though since I know her on a deeper level.
That said, I love how you wrote the post, Michele. The issue we currently face is exactly as you wrote, women are not being informed of all of the risks and are often misled.
That is not to say that all doctors are out to get us. There are a lot out there who truly care about the needs of birthing women. The reality of it is that they are subject to the laws, pressures from insurance companies and general demand of the geographic area as well, which can heavily influence how they choose to practice. This includes hospital and home birth midwives as well.
OK, let me get this right….
On one hand, you guys are always saying you want docs to let us make our own choices in pregnancy/labor/delivery. Fair enough. I get that, and agree.
But on the other hand, you contradict yourselves, saying that because the docs ARE letting women make their choices (i.e., a woman wants a section), they are wrong?? You can’t have it both ways.
You cannot necessarily blame a doctor for a woman’s choice. In this day and age (at least in the US, Canada, etc), there is a multitude of information (and misinformation). There is no excuse for a woman to say, yeah, but so and so said…please. Step up, make your own decision and deal with it. Quit blaming everyone else.
The OB’s present to you the facts – [fill in the blank] CAN happen, and has happened. It is up to you to make the informed choice of what you want to do. Just because they present the facts does not mean they are swaying the person. You are ultimately responsible for your own decisions.
Ok, it’s good to see that some people can take any simple statement and completely turn it into something it is NOT. Michele, I’m sorry if I offended you by suggesting that your empty feeling was caused by PPD, not by the c-section. That was NEVER my intention. I appreciate your response, and although I realize this post was not about you feeling empty inside, that is the part I felt badly for you about. Having a newborn is hard enough, dealing with PPD or emptiness or whatever, makes it so much harder.
It’s unfortunate that something as simple as an observation can be so seriously misunderstood. Seems like some people just look for things to get all high and mighty about. Someone mentioned that my statement seemed high and mighty, really? Really? Compared to what? Definitely not your response. Seems to me you were just looking for someone to attack. And someone else said that I shouldn’t EVER say that I didn’t have a negative experience, or suggest that maybe your empty feeling was caused by anything other than your c-section. How ridiculous!
I had an awful vaginal birth experience. One that made me not want to even look at, never mind hold and care for my baby. I ended up in physical therapy for months after my birth, just so I could walk again. Should no one EVER tell me that they had a wonderful birth experience? Or does that sound like the most unreasonable demand EVER?
Again Michele, I apologize if I offended you by suggesting that your empty feeling was caused by PPD. The rest of the comments are just ridiculous!
@ Jenna, you didn’t offend me. We’re all talking about this so that in itself is great.
My point here is that women should trust their bodies more. Because a c-section isn’t always best. In fact, most of the time it isn’t. I don’t think we can dispute that. Sure, some of us have to have one and therefore it is best for that woman.
@ Elise, you are exactly right in pointing out that this is a complicated matter. Docs should let us make our own choices, but the problem is that the doctor often presents the mother with information that isn’t correct. Therefore a woman thinks her body isn’t capable of birthing vaginally because of what she is taught by her doctor. It’s a subtle thing, and the problem here is that so many of us trust our doctors when a lot of times they aren’t providing all the detail we need. So women need to arm themselves and research above and beyond what a doctor has to say on the matter. We need to educate ourselves and not just trust what our doctor tells us. If you read any of Ina May Gaskin’s books, a woman who has a less than 2 percent c-section rate in her deliveries, it really helps put things into perspective.
Elise, is it really a fair choice if it is not one where the woman has been fully informed?
I really think how doctors practice varies by region, so let me say that where I’m from, medicine is practiced a lot more aggressively than in other areas. To the point, where doctors value their circumstances and immediate risks over the risks that woman and babies will be left to deal with. It has reached such a breaking point that even our local newspaper published an article covering the issue (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/health/fl-hk-39-weeks-20110302,0,965515.story)
I’ve read up on birth, it’s history and also read/heard the many stories that women have shared with me from the present day, and I have come to the opinion that often information is not being presented in a balanced way.
For one, women are vulnerable the final months of pregnancy. Many are more likely to take risks at the end due to being uncomfortable and in pain. Then, the pressure to have the baby by 40 weeks is strong, with most mothers getting pressured by family and friends to schedule the birth for no good reason other than their due date has passed. When the doctor offers a way out, whatever the motive, it is no wonder women jump at it.
Maybe some may view this as fine and dandy. I don’t. I think it is wrong to tempt women like that. In my eyes, if a woman does ask to be induced the experts role simply should be one of explaining the medical benefits versus risks. She/he should not be pressuring either way.
Then there are the medical issues that are not immediately life threatening such as breech presentation, size of baby or a herpes breakout. More often than not, women are pressured to act, rather than wait to see what happens. Why is that? Could it be that the doctor is desiring some normalcy to their life? I’m not trying to demonize here, I’m simply trying to bring to bring some understanding to a extremely misunderstood issue.
LorelNicolette – I totally get what you’re saying, but I also don’t think women are given enough credit to make their own decisions.
OK, so the end of pregnancy sucks. We all pretty much have BTDT. I;m about there for the 3rd time myself.
But it’s kinda like a diabetic with candy dangling in front of them – they know what they should do (or in that case, shouldn’t do) and they need to be grown up enough to make the right decision. I just don’t think it’s right to lay blame fully on the docs when I feel if you’re old enough to get knocked up and have a baby, you are old enough to make the decisions to go along with it, KWIM? I’m not trying to be mean, but I think too many women want to lay blame elsewhere except themselves anymore.
And you’re right – some parts of this country ARE worse than others….unfortunately, defensive medicine plays a HUGE role in that. Obstetrics is the most expensive malpractice insurance out there (and a lot of OB-GYNS are opting out of the OB part because of it)….buuuuut…..it’s comes back to personal responsibility. People wanna play the blame game and blame the docs for every little thing – and it’s not to say some don’t deserve it – God knows I’ve known one or two in my line of work! LOL! It sucks that it’s that way, but if women just start educating themselves, they’ll fare much better.
Again, this is just my opinion, but I am of the opinion that we are the ones (mostly) responsible for ourselves and our decisions. They aren’t always fun or fair, but they are what they are.
Those women opting to give birth early just to do it? Yeah, I absolutely agree they should rethink that decision. Would I do it? Nope. Is it up to me to decide for them. Absolutely not.
Check out this video. It’s an interesting middle ground between the conventional c-section and a natural birth. I think it proves that it’s not so much what procedure is done, but how that procedure is done. A C-section can be done in a way that honors the new family and a baby can be unnecessarily separated from the mom after a vaginal delivery.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dm5RIcaK98Yg&h=05685
I don’t know that I felt numb after my C-Section in 2008. I was told at 37 weeks that my son was growth restricted and hadn’t grown at all in weeks. His head was small and he wasn’t getting enough nutrients. I’ve had stomach surgery and apparently all of my missing intestines meant that my little boy was literally starving. They induced me and warned that many times those end in c-sections. No one misled me at all.
After 12 hours on pitocin and excruciating back labor, I was only dialated to 1 cm, but the baby’s heart rate started to drop, so they did a c-section. I didn’t even get to witness the birth, because after 7 (yes, seven!) tries with the spinal block needle, I was told that I had severe calcification in my spine and they’d need to knock me out. I didn’t care about anything at that point but getting that baby out and getting him some food. My husband had to go out to the waiting room. I counted backwards from ten and woke up with a baby and a morphine pump.
I have to say that I don’t feel anything but grateful that they were able to get him out safely. My son is two now and developmentally normal, though still on the small side. I’m expecting my 2nd in June, and it’ll be a planned C-Section where they knock me out totally. No regrets on my part.
Some commenters got angry at the way you phrased your feelings, but I’m not. Just because my experience differs from yours, both of our feelings are valid. I’m so sorry that your c-section was a bad experience. I woke up from mine feeling the morphine, but desperately happy to have my son. I cannot imagine that my emotions would’ve been greater or more intense had I pushed him from my body. Every mom deals with birthing in her own way. . . I feel that I was very well informed and taken care of. . .Women used to die all the time in childbirth. If the trade-off for that is that there are too-many unnecessary c-sections, I think it’s worth it. Just my opinion, though. You’re entitled to your feelings.
It’s everyone’s choice…their own body, their own choice. I researched all options and saw no need to feel violated, poked and prodded to have a baby. I CHOSE a C section b.c it was right for me. Birth does not make you a mother, if it did, then I’d like you to tell that to people who had to adopt or have a surrogate. What makes you a mother are the choices you make once the baby is born, for the rest of his or her life. A C section was a choice I made b.c I know myself, and I wasn’t afraid of the pain, I didn’t long for the experience of a drawn out labor filled with what-ifs and complications. I loved my C! I recovered easily and know I made the right choice for me. And as if that wasn’t enough to verify my choice, the woman I shared a room with, ripped her hooha from stem to stern, dislocated her hip and went home with a commode bc she couldn’t walk to the bathroom. She CHOOSE a natural delivery. Her choice….
I chose to do it my way. For each, their own.
Twitter: RanaAurora
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I have to respectfully disagree. Part of the problem we face in this country is the idea that a c-section is “just a choice.” No medical organization worth a damn supports that kind of thinking because it’s really just not true. In fact, there are major organizations and movements right now, BEGGING women to stop thinking like that because of the very serious and life-long ramifications on the mother AND the baby. That isn’t something that should be taken lightly, or even really considered an equal option in the slightest.
No one said a c-section mother is any less of a mother, or did you not see that Michele herself HAD a *necessary* c-section? Tangent. Yikes.
Anyway, off topic… it sounds like you probably have some serious hang-ups you need to work though. Maybe some trauma or abuse? But your thoughts on your vagina for birth are very warped, and thinking that major abdominal surgery is LESS invasive? Slightly crazy. And the woman next to you, that’s just ridiculous. You have your entire body CUT OPEN into your organs. So what if she tore the outside skin? That doesn’t make a c-section better. She was very unfortunate and most vaginal births AREN’T like that… especially outside of the hospital.
Again, I respectfully disagree. Most C-sections don’t result in any life long ramifications or complications. It’s the most common surgery. In fact, my DR, who I fully trust agreed with my choice. And no, I have no trauma or abuse in my past, just simply a desire to avoid a vaginal birth where I did not have complete control of the circumstances. Granted, things do go wrong in surgery. I weighed the risks/rewards and for me it was the right choice. I just don’t feel like society or anyone should have the right to tell me what is best for me or my body.
Twitter: RanaAurora
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Ah, okay. I see the problem here. Society isn’t trying to tell you what’s best for your body — medical science is, hun.
Choice, I’m sorry, but just because a surgery is common doesn’t mean that it is SAFE. There are very real effects of abdominal surgery, from adhesions causing bowel obstructions to risks to future pregnancies (and more).
I have to question the statement that most women who’ve had c sections ate left with an lingering feeling inside. Is this based on subjective experience or are there studies that back this up? In my subjective experience, none of my friends who had c sections felt this way. I completely understand that some women do, I am just surprised to read it is the majority.
Anyway, I’m not sure I can agree with this post. There are many contributing factors to the growing c section rate and I’m not sure we completely understand what they all are. Certainly rising rates of multiples contributes somewhat and there is apparently a faction of women who do it out of convenience. But the bigger issue isn’t that women are not informed, I think they disagree with you on where the risk lies. I know for myself, during my labor, when my baby’s heart rate started to drop, if they had suggested a CS I would have said, where do I sign? I was able to deliver vaginally and I was far more scared of a CS than labor. But given a chance that something could go wrong, I would choose an intervention every time. There are risks either way, it just depends what your focus is. When the doctor tells you x,y and z could happen those are real risks. How every woman weighs that against the risks of any intervention, including a CS varies greatly and depends in large part on her value system. For me, at the end of the day, I value science. I believe that most of the time science is right. I understand that this is not always the case. And while I definitely believe that birth is a natural process and that out bodies know what to do, I also believe that sometimes things go wrong and I trust my doctor to identify this happening and guide me accordingly.
I have to question the statement that most women who\’ve had c sections ate left with an lingering feeling inside. Is this based on subjective experience or are there studies that back this up? In my subjective experience, none of my friends who had c sections felt this way. I completely understand that some women do, I am just surprised to read it is the majority.
Anyway, I\’m not sure I can agree with this post. There are many contributing factors to the growing c section rate and I\’m not sure we completely understand what they all are. Certainly rising rates of multiples contributes somewhat and there is apparently a faction of women who do it out of convenience. But the bigger issue isn\’t that women are not informed, I think they disagree with you on where the risk lies. I know for myself, during my labor, when my baby\’s heart rate started to drop, if they had suggested a CS I would have said, where do I sign? I was able to deliver vaginally and I was far more scared of a CS than labor. But given a chance that something could go wrong, I would choose an intervention every time. There are risks either way, it just depends what your focus is. When the doctor tells you x,y and z could happen those are real risks. How every woman weighs that against the risks of any intervention, including a CS varies greatly and depends in large part on her value system. For me, at the end of the day, I value science. I believe that most of the time science is right. I understand that this is not always the case. And while I definitely believe that birth is a natural process and that out bodies know what to do, I also believe that sometimes things go wrong and I trust my doctor to identify this happening and guide me accordingly.