Me and Penelope working on our latch
I’m not looking for a gold star (okay I’ll totally take one if you got one!) but I do want to help moms who have been through very difficult births breastfeed. And if you are reading this and had a traumatic birth and didn’t breastfeed because of it, this is also for you. Especially for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I KNOW how hard it is. I REALLY, really know and I want to reach out of the internets right now and give you a really big hug and have coffee with you so we can talk about our crazy birth stories.
Just about all of us really want to do what’s best for baby. And if you had a traumatic birth, I know you had to do what you felt was right for you at the time. But now we are armed with more knowledge and hindsight to help us in the future. To help other moms who may be in the same situation. So grab a coffee and let’s chat …
What happened to me with the HELLP and the preeclampsia is serious. It was life-threatening and the risk continues after birth. That really screws with your mental health: thinking you might die before you get to see the beautiful life (or lives) you were gestating in your belly. Or dying shortly after they are born. It’s not just HELLP/preeclampsia that creates a massive breastfeeding hurdle — it’s all the other host of issues that can happen. I don’t think I need to list them — I’m hoping you will comment and share them all. But I can talk about my situation because I lived it.
I could not breastfeed the moment after my twins were born — that crucial time and moment I envisioned being pure bliss when I was pregnant. Instead I was alive, but nearly dead inside. You can read my birth story here, but in short, I labored for four hours and in that time my blood pressure skyrocketed, my vision blurred, and my liver and kidneys were shutting down. My body wasn’t ready or able to get to the point where I could have the babies vaginally, so I was prepped for a c-section. The only cure for what was killing me and possibly my babies was their delivery. Penelope arrived at 10:07 pm on December 1, 2009. And Hunter came at 10:09 pm. It was the happiest and most frightening day of my life. I was so out of it from the drugs and magnesium sulfide they pumped me with to prevent me from seizure and stroke. I was convulsing. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I couldn’t breastfeed. I couldn’t even lift my arms. But the nurses helped bring each baby to breast — a small thing yes, but so important even though I didn’t realize it at that time. Because of my state, I couldn’t emote what I wanted. I didn’t even have much feeling emotionally or physically because of the drugs. I was helpless.
Lesson 1: Prepare yourself for this situation by telling your partner and your doctor that even if you are out of it after a traumatic birth to please put the baby to breast. Even if it’s just for skin-to-skin contact.
The next day was a haze. I was hooked up to IVs, had a catheter — how the hell was I supposed to breastfeed like that? I could barely move. But each day got a little better. And each day we tried breastfeeding. And each day we all got a little better at it. But if I didn’t have a husband urging me sweetly to try, nurses who were amazingly supportive, and lactation consultants who visited me several times a day, I don’t think I would have succeeded. And that’s not because I didn’t WANT to breastfeed. It was because I was not well and just wanted to close my eyes and drift into my drug-induced oblivion.
Lesson 2: Keep trying to nurse each day even if you aren’t successful each time.
I was in the hospital for a week. My husband couldn’t sleep over and because I couldn’t get out of bed or move much the nights were very hard with twins. It would have been hard with one baby as well. The nurses were amazing. And when I couldn’t nurse much in those first days, they spoon fed the babies formula. They had both breastmilk and formula. And so many moms need to realize that it doesn’t have to be one OR the other. There are times we do need help and any breastmilk you can give your baby is fantastic not just for baby but for your own healing process. I swear it was the oxytocin from breastfeeding that helped me recover. Still, I didn’t feel myself for at least 3 weeks. Oh hell, it was much, much longer than that. I cried a lot. A LOT a lot.
Lesson 3 and 4: The nurses are there to help you. Ask for help. And oxytocin is the most amazing natural drug in the whole widest world.
Getting better at it!
The BEST way anyone can help a new mama when they are struggling to breastfeed after a traumatic birth is with compassion. Even if that mom hasn’t breastfed at all. Being through a traumatizing birth is so very hard. It was so hard for me. Some moms need to turn to formula because they have to — and then it just becomes the norm. But that doesn’t mean we should turn our backs on those moms. Instead, we need to bond together, showing compassion for what that mom went through, and being easy on her and recognizing how a difficult birth can be so serious and how it IS so hard to nurse after something like that. Perhaps it’s early enough after her birth that she still has milk and can try again. Or perhaps it could help her realize that if she has another baby, breastfeeding is the way to go. And she can do that without guilt.
Lesson 5 and 6: Breastfeeding isn’t all or nothing — you can breastfeed and formula feed if you HAVE to. Guilt is a bitch.
Who am I kidding? With as little guilt as possible. I have guilt. I am full of what ifs. But looking back on my birth and early days of trying to breastfeed now, 14 months of breastfeeding my twins, many months of having to also give formula because of supply issues, but still 14 months of breastfeeding my twins and still going, I know I did and continue to do the very best that I can.
Lesson 7: We all should be supportive of all moms, helping them, being an ear, without making them angry. That’s the way to increase the breastfeeding rates.
To any mom who has been through something similar, I understand. I support you. We have so much to teach other women, and so much to learn from each other and our own experiences.
I can’t end this rant without addressing the fact that I truly believe that something must be done about formula companies and how they must be better. This post isn’t about that — let’s not make it about that. But I wanted to recognize the situation — formula is needed for some moms and that formula should be safe because our babies deserve the best when they cannot go to breast.
Did you have a traumatic birth that prevented you from breastfeeding? Or do you lend a supportive ear or words when a mom faces these difficult challenges?
Tags: birth, breastfeeding
Thank you for sharing, Michele!
The guilt subsides with time. It is an indicator that we still need to process certain aspects of our experience.
That said, the fact that you have made it 14 months is something you should definitely should be proud of!
I had a very traumatic birth with the second one. The first one? BFing was a no brainer. Easy. Plenty of milk. The second one? Two weeks late, no fluid, had to be induced due to baby’s lack of seeming alive and then when I got to 10 cms, his heart rate plummeted, my blood pressure plummeted and I was in septic shock. Meaning, emergency c-section immediately, them having to push baby back up and into my uterus to be born because he was suck. Oh, and let’s not forget the placenta abruptia! SUCKY! Then I bled out and lost 4 pts of blood. So much fun.
I was in the hospital for a week, couldn’t get out of bed and couldn’t lift him. The nurses brought him every two hours to nurse. He had tons of problems latching for MONTHS. I got breast infection after breast infection, once even had an abscess. Then I had thrush for six months and it felt like glass coming through my nipples. I couldn’t understand what the hell I was doing wrong. I felt awful! He gained ok but I knew it wasn’t quite right. It was so hard, when the first one was so easy. And let’s not even mention the PPD as a result of all of this failure, sickness, anemia, infections…the roughest and darkest period of my life.
I was so glad to have so much support, from my sisters who came to clean and cook to my friends who brought food by and took my 2yo out to play so I could rest with the baby. They made me feel like it was all ok. And eventually I got over the guilt of sucking so badly (through therapy). A year later we found out he was autistic and had latch issues from his oral motor issues. That’s when I said, “AHA! I KNEW IT!” because I realized it wasn’t just me.
As for needing formula, yes. Sometimes it is needed. My sister’s son had failure to thrive. She nursed him for ten months with a supplemental with my pumped milk and then with formula. the rounded out the year with a bottle.A friend of mine had a double masectomy at 26 due to her sister’s death from cancer and had reconstruction. She couldn’t nurse and felt awful about it but it had to be formula for her. She bought the best stuff she could. No one should ever feel guilty for not being able to nurse! As much of a proponent as I am, I realize that it isn’t always easy, it isn’t always possible and it isn’t for everyone.
Bravo for telling your story.
I had a very traumatic birth with the second one. The first one? BFing was a no brainer. Easy. Plenty of milk. The second one? Two weeks late, no fluid, had to be induced due to baby\’s lack of seeming alive and then when I got to 10 cms, his heart rate plummeted, my blood pressure plummeted and I was in septic shock. Meaning, emergency c-section immediately, them having to push baby back up and into my uterus to be born because he was suck. Oh, and let\’s not forget the placenta abruptia! SUCKY! Then I bled out and lost 4 pts of blood. So much fun.
I was in the hospital for a week, couldn\’t get out of bed and couldn\’t lift him. The nurses brought him every two hours to nurse. He had tons of problems latching for MONTHS. I got breast infection after breast infection, once even had an abscess. Then I had thrush for six months and it felt like glass coming through my nipples. I couldn\’t understand what the hell I was doing wrong. I felt awful! He gained ok but I knew it wasn\’t quite right. It was so hard, when the first one was so easy. And let\’s not even mention the PPD as a result of all of this failure, sickness, anemia, infections…the roughest and darkest period of my life.
I was so glad to have so much support, from my sisters who came to clean and cook to my friends who brought food by and took my 2yo out to play so I could rest with the baby. They made me feel like it was all ok. And eventually I got over the guilt of sucking so badly (through therapy). A year later we found out he was autistic and had latch issues from his oral motor issues. That\’s when I said, \"AHA! I KNEW IT!\" because I realized it wasn\’t just me.
As for needing formula, yes. Sometimes it is needed. My sister\’s son had failure to thrive. She nursed him for ten months with a supplemental with my pumped milk and then with formula. the rounded out the year with a bottle.A friend of mine had a double masectomy at 26 due to her sister\’s death from cancer and had reconstruction. She couldn\’t nurse and felt awful about it but it had to be formula for her. She bought the best stuff she could. No one should ever feel guilty for not being able to nurse! As much of a proponent as I am, I realize that it isn\’t always easy, it isn\’t always possible and it isn\’t for everyone.
Bravo for telling your story.
I didn’t have a traumatic birth, what I had was absolutely no support what so ever. There were no lactation consultants there was no LLL, there was nothing in Southern Maryland when my first son was born in 2000. What I had was a phone and mom who breastfed my brother and I into toddler hood 3000 miles away. He wouldn’t even try to latch on. I had to give him formula. My milk takes 5 days to come in he was starving.
The hospital let me sleep and gave my 39 week gestation baby a preemie bottle on Similac. He would not latch on to me. Can you blame him? The preemie bottle poured out milk. (That’s another story.) Thankfully once my milk did come in he latched right on.
I also had a husband that would not allow me to breast feed in public so my sweet baby got formula when we were out. He was supplemented with formula until he stopped nursing at 11 months. He is now almost 11 years old and no worse for the experience. I will say he is a lot more picky than my two exclusively breastfed kids. My other two did get a little formula those first few days, but not after my milk came in.
This sounds a lot like my experience, & you’re so right in saying thank goodness for the nurses. A nurse was who explained to me that because of the Mag Sulfate I was on my milk would take longer than normal to come in & taught me how to use a supplemental feeding system for a few days so I could BF & stimulate my milk supply while still giving my baby nutrition. I credit that nurse w/ my ability to successfully BF my son & wish I could remember her name. I feel proud to have overcome obstacles to breastfeed my son, but I totally get why so many women w/ similar stories wind up formula feeding. And you know what? They ‘re still incredible moms! You know what I wish someone had told me? That preeclampsia can last months after delivery. Yup. Maybe then I wouldn’t have wound up in the ER & on blood pressure meds. Who knows. I DO know I’m better prepared for kid #2 & also to teach & support other women who have traumatic births.
This sounds a lot like my experience, & you\’re so right in saying thank goodness for the nurses. A nurse was who explained to me that because of the Mag Sulfate I was on my milk would take longer than normal to come in & taught me how to use a supplemental feeding system for a few days so I could BF & stimulate my milk supply while still giving my baby nutrition. I credit that nurse w/ my ability to successfully BF my son & wish I could remember her name. I feel proud to have overcome obstacles to breastfeed my son, but I totally get why so many women w/ similar stories wind up formula feeding. And you know what? They \’re still incredible moms! You know what I wish someone had told me? That preeclampsia can last months after delivery. Yup. Maybe then I wouldn\’t have wound up in the ER & on blood pressure meds. Who knows. I DO know I\’m better prepared for kid #2 & also to teach & support other women who have traumatic births.
I had a traumatic labor and major issues nursing, but I did make it. I was stubborn and even totally alone when I desperately needed people, needed help, my husband gone for 11 hours a day, PPD, a baby that I didn’t feel like was mine (damaged bond from epidural drugs) who could barely suck, latched badly and then WOULDN’T latch and just thing after thing and I approached it with the age old “One step at a time” attitude and I did it. I can understand SO MUCH how hard it is and why many women can’t do it. All for something I didn’t particularly like doing (I was already nursing before that and I tandem nurse them now, so I guess you can add tandem nursing into the difficulties list, but my toddler was an immense help with nursing her sister by just nursing enough to get my milk going for her since the baby couldn’t suck hard enough to bring out my flat nipples when I was engorged and she wanted instant gratification) because I knew I could. I knew it in my heart that if I just believed in what I’d been taught, I could overcome. One bottle in the beginning would have undone it all since she sucked efficiently on a binky or a finger, so I had to be so careful.
I am so grateful to the nurses who believed in me and the LC who showed me how to ‘teach’ the baby to suck when I was at a total loss. And especially for all the women who struggled and didn’t make it, because their stories of how hard they worked were inspirational to me. They told me what to try right from the start, what not to do. And of course to the women who figured out with their own trial and error and shared their stories and how they did it.
Without all of that, I couldn’t have done it. My heart goes out to the mamas who wanted to and couldn’t. And the true low supply mama friend who nurses despite it all (formula in her lact-aid)–she’s my nursing hero. Women like her helped encourage me to go when it got so tough I was crying and wanting to give in.
Thank you, all of you wonderful mothers out there who shared your stories, no matter how you fed your babies in the end.
I too am a C Mom who has been breastfeeding since. It can be tough, rather it IS tough, no can be about it. You struggle to stay awake with the goob gobs of pain killers, you struggle to find a possition that doesn’t compremise your insician. You struggle with the most basic desire to just sleep it off. With the right help, and with will power of steal you can still beat the odds against you. Thanks for the great post.
Keri, your husband wouldn’t ALLOW you to nurse in public? Nice. Sounds like a real gem.
I am dealing with a baby in the NICU right now she was born at 28 weeks. And we are 17 days out from her birth and I have been pumping dlgently every 3 hours. I got up to 250 ml a day after 10 days but hit a plateu and not I am having a decline in milk down to about 160 ml a day about 20 ml each time I pump 8 times a day. NICU baby’s can not tolorate Fenugreek. I am at a lose I am eating oat meal drinking water sprinkling flax seed on everything. Between my tramatic birth having to pump having PCOS I have a million reasons this isn’t working but the number one reason is my milk is just going away.
I would totally be looking for research back-up on the flat “NICU babies cannot tolerate fenugreek” statement. There is such an enormous variation in NICU babies that a flat statement like that makes absolutely no sense. Whether YOUR baby could tolerate fenugreek or not would totally depend on HER medical situation. Email Dr. Hale or Jack Newman, maybe? You really need advice from a top professional that is a breastfeeding EXPERT, not just someone from the NICU, who may or may not actually know what they are talking about.
I mean, NICU babies vary from micropremies with major brain damage that need feeding tubes, help keeping temperature regulated, and breathing help, to babies like mine, who really just needed the breathing help for several days, while her lungs matured. You just can’t make a flat statement like that.
Unfortunately, even hospitals and hospital staff people that want to be breastfeeding-friendly are all-too-often hampered by the fact that they DON’T keep their knowledge as well-grounded and up-to-date as they should. The one my daughter was in was thrilled that I was breastfeeding, but I still got some REALLY stupid advice from them. Luckily, I had done my research and knew it was stupid.
I know it sucks, but try adding a pumping or 2 @ night. Nightime is when your body produces the most prolactin, the hormone that tells your body to make milk. The more you nurse or pump @ night, the more milk you’ll make. Also do kangaroo care, if you can. The skin to skin contact will help your supply. Good luck and you can do it!!
On behalf of all the mom’s who didn’t have a traumatic birth let me say: You guys amaze me. Seriously. My first time around I fell victim to so much bad advice that I only nursed 3 months. The second time around I did better, but even having had a fairly normal vaginal birth (though I did end up getting the epidural) I had to fight to get her to nurse after she ended up in the hospital for the first week. To do all these things while dealing with your own medical issues.
Whether or not you breastfed, you rock mamma
Thank you so much for writing this! It means so much to hear these words so heartfelt & strong. Both my baby’s births had various levels of trauma (long stories but the first had 3rd/4th degree tearing, the second was a c-sect.) I struggled with latching/supply/finger-feeding/nipple shield with the first and finally got established a few weeks into it but used a shield until 3 months. We were able to continue BF to almost 2 years which was awesome and made it all worth it
With my second baby- he had serious latch issues also but i could not get a nipple shield to fit (somehow my anatomy seemed to have outgrown even the largest shield that they make) 
I needed to pump/bottle feed for 6+ weeks. Those were very long weeks. Especially recovering from the c-section, not getting sleep and pumping around the clock. I had almost come to terms with not being able to BF my son, but continued to try every day or two (i’d feel frusterated when it didn’t work so i’d end up going a couple days sometimes without trying – just pumping and bottlefeeding). But round about 6 weeks he started getting the hang of it- we still had some challenges for a while but eventually were breastfeeding full time. 
An amazing and challenging experience to say the least. I will never have a single judgy thought about someone who can’t breastfeed. That was me for 6 weeks. And i was a breastfeeding guru. I still am. I still was, even though it wasn’t working no matter how hard i was trying. I was planning to pump and bottle feed for a year. I was sad. I wanted to breastfeed my baby, but i had to bottle feed him. I was ashamed to bottle-feed in public. I hoped people knew it was my own breastmilk. I remember thinking that. I felt a little jealous of my breastfeeding friends. I was on the other side of the fence and not by choice. I would have given anything to be breastfeeding. My story had a happy ending in that eventually my son started latching. But it took so long, and was so difficult – that i had for the first time begun to picture what it would be like to have a baby that i didn’t breastfeed. And i was coming to terms with it because I had to. It wasn’t working. And then finally – a miracle really, it did. I am so thankful, but i will never judge someone because I know. I’ve been there. Thanks again for sharing your story too!
Wow. Thank you so much for writing your experience and tips down. I cannot even fathom what you went through, but the fact you learned what youndid from it and want to share it is amazing.
My first baby was not a traumatic birth from a medical standpoint, but from my emotional standpoint it was at the time. I was living in Japan, no friends and my husband left for the war when my daughter was a few days old. I had zero support for breastfeeding and to this day I can look back and see wheee I just gave up. I couldn’t get the latching and was encouraged by the doctor’s to just give her formula. I regret it to this day, but at the time didn’t know what things I could have tried. My second daughter was a shoulder dystocia baby in which her shoulder was dislocated to get her out and my bladder tore from the pressure of the nurses on top of me pushing her out. She was almost a ten pound baby, darn kiddo. But I was determined to breastfeed her, to give her and me that comfort we both needed.
I just had my fourth baby last April and laughed at the doctor in the face who told me I was breastfeeding my newborn too much. I know now the benefits breastfeeding offer to babes, and if I am capable of breastfeeding my babes with no medical issues keeping me from it, you bet that is what I am honored to do!
Wow. Thank you so much for writing your experience and tips down. I cannot even fathom what you went through, but the fact you learned what youndid from it and want to share it is amazing.
My first baby was not a traumatic birth from a medical standpoint, but from my emotional standpoint it was at the time. I was living in Japan, no friends and my husband left for the war when my daughter was a few days old. I had zero support for breastfeeding and to this day I can look back and see wheee I just gave up. I couldn\’t get the latching and was encouraged by the doctor\’s to just give her formula. I regret it to this day, but at the time didn\’t know what things I could have tried. My second daughter was a shoulder dystocia baby in which her shoulder was dislocated to get her out and my bladder tore from the pressure of the nurses on top of me pushing her out. She was almost a ten pound baby, darn kiddo. But I was determined to breastfeed her, to give her and me that comfort we both needed.
I just had my fourth baby last April and laughed at the doctor in the face who told me I was breastfeeding my newborn too much. I know now the benefits breastfeeding offer to babes, and if I am capable of breastfeeding my babes with no medical issues keeping me from it, you bet that is what I am honored to do!
Wow. Thank you so much for writing your experience and tips down. I cannot even fathom what you went through, but the fact you learned what youndid from it and want to share it is amazing.
My first baby was not a traumatic birth from a medical standpoint, but from my emotional standpoint it was at the time. I was living in Japan, no friends and my husband left for the war when my daughter was a few days old. I had zero support for breastfeeding and to this day I can look back and see wheee I just gave up. I couldn\\\’t get the latching and was encouraged by the doctor\\\’s to just give her formula. I regret it to this day, but at the time didn\\\’t know what things I could have tried. My second daughter was a shoulder dystocia baby in which her shoulder was dislocated to get her out and my bladder tore from the pressure of the nurses on top of me pushing her out. She was almost a ten pound baby, darn kiddo. But I was determined to breastfeed her, to give her and me that comfort we both needed.
I just had my fourth baby last April and laughed at the doctor in the face who told me I was breastfeeding my newborn too much. I know now the benefits breastfeeding offer to babes, and if I am capable of breastfeeding my babes with no medical issues keeping me from it, you bet that is what I am honored to do!
thank you so much for sharing your story. this is the first time that i’ve read about someone that had such a similar birth experience to my own. I had HELLP syndrome also – but it developed overnight. i had horrible pain in my chest and ribs which i thought at first was reflux. i asked the doc if he thought it was preeclampsia and he said no. found out when i couldn’t take the pain anymore and went to the L&D unit that my liver was swelling, blood pressure was sky high and my platelet count was critically low. had to have an emergency c-section. far from the unmedicated water birth i had planned for.
my baby did latch but was very sleep at breast in the hospital. he ended up losing 13% of his body weight. my milk was very slow to come in – not sure if that was due to the HELLP or to the large doses of Mag they gave me – i attributed it to the traumatic birth and the other two. after 5 weeks after birth i saw a lactation consultant bc my son had not regained his birth weight. come to find out i had a low milk supply. i tried all of the herbal remedies first with no improvement. then i bought a double pump and would pump 20 minutes after each feeding to try to stimulate hormone levels to increase milk supply. that didn’t really work. then i tried a medication called Domperidone. for a month i took it and didn’t really get any improvement. THEN i was watching DR. Oz the other day and he discussed the effect calcium supplements have on the absorption of prescription medications — i had been taking the Domperidone with a calcium supplement! so fingers crossed – in the last week i stopped the calcium supplements when i take the Dom and i’m praying that my supply will increase.
i did have to supplement with formula and still have to. it was so hard for me to accept that. i could live with having a c-section but breastfeeding was something that i was very firm on. my husband was/is very supportive of BF but didn’t see the big deal about feeding our son formula. i had a very hard time and had to keep explaining (and still do) about how it feels for a woman to feed her child. mentally i’ve accepted that my son needs supplements, but i want nothing more than to be able to exclusively breastfeed. i am envious of other moms who can do that and other moms who say that they have huge supplies of frozen breast milk in their freezers and don’t know what to do with it all. i’d buy another freezer if i had that problem!
thank you again for sharing your story – and all of you for being so supportive in your comments! i think all moms do the best that they can to provide for their babies – no matter how we have to feed them!
Wow. Just wow. You ladies are amazing, and remind me that it is wise to be prepared for a birth that goes far from planned.
I also had severe PE with my first, mild PE with my second, and mild PE that turned severe post partum with my 3rd/4th twins. I also had the added challenge of having had breast surgery that damaged my glands and makes it difficult to build my milk supply. I agree wholeheartedly with the advice you gave. I got off to a rough start with my first and the twins, but we worked through it and found a way to make it work. I gave my babies 100% of what I had even if it wasn’t 100% of what they needed. I’m still nursing my twins at 18 months. It was HARD but WORTH IT.
What a great story! Breastfeeding with a difficult birth is SO hard! I had twins at 26 weeks and had to pump exclusiveley (every 3 hours, even at night) for 3 months. They were able to ‘nuzzle’ at around 34 weeks, but didn’t actively nurse until we got home from the hospital about 3 months from their birth. The medical staff was amazed that I had the milk supply that I did. I was able to produce 50 oz/day pumping… and that was after having a c-section and a deadly post-birth staff infection from my emergency c-section. I have suffered mastitis twice and had to nurse, supplement two babies, then pump every 3 hours for about 2 months after they got home… but I can now say that I am successively and exclusively tandom nursing my two twin boys!!! God is awesome! He gave me the strength to get through it and anyone else can make it through too!!! Just keep your baby/babies’ health and needs first and you will be amazed at the determination you find!!
What a great story! Breastfeeding with a difficult birth is SO hard! I had twins at 26 weeks and had to pump exclusiveley (every 3 hours, even at night) for 3 months. They were able to \’nuzzle\’ at around 34 weeks, but didn\’t actively nurse until we got home from the hospital about 3 months from their birth. The medical staff was amazed that I had the milk supply that I did. I was able to produce 50 oz/day pumping… and that was after having a c-section and a deadly post-birth staff infection from my emergency c-section. I have suffered mastitis twice and had to nurse, supplement two babies, then pump every 3 hours for about 2 months after they got home… but I can now say that I am successively and exclusively tandom nursing my two twin boys!!! God is awesome! He gave me the strength to get through it and anyone else can make it through too!!! Just keep your baby/babies\’ health and needs first and you will be amazed at the determination you find!!
I had twins and a c-section. I was in a complete Mg haze, the babies were in the NICU, and I had to walk a million miles and sit on a very hard chair, very far from a bathroom, while unable to take any narcotic pain meds because of urinary retention. One of my babies screamed nonstop for about 10 months, starting when we first took him from the incubator to breastfeed. I sat there barely able to move or talk while a nurse and a lactation consultant tried everything to comfort him for over an hour… it was extremely hard and in retrospect I don’t know how I did it. But my mindset was simple, “this is the only option”. I never once, even for a second, considered quitting. That simplicity must be how I did it…there was no formula in the house, and no mental path to get any, so there were no moment to moment decisions to make. I was in no shape to make decisions for months. Fortunately, that extreme rigidity worked out for us, and after 5 lactation consultants, a few weeks with an SNS, and breastfeeding every hour day and night for about 4 months, we had 18 months of very successful breastfeeding (well, ok, the last 6 months I had mastitis 6 times and ended up on prophylactic antibiotics, which was absurd and somewhat defeating). They had zero illnesses until weaning, it was the most amazing experience I’ve ever had, and it was all worth it. Not that I’m recommending complete rigidity as a strategy! Not at all! But it did work for us.
Thank you for this!
I had a c-section and a little girl in the NICO immediately after her birth, but I was determined to breastfeed. The nurses brought me a pump before I could even get out of the bed, and not knowing how to use it, I actually pumped on high (ack!) and became raw on the first day, while still totally out of it on the pain meds! I think I pumped like 7 drops! I had a very difficult time at first, and most of the nurses were very helpful, but some were just…well, not so helpful. I think this is another obstacle. I knew I was going to BF, but my daughter would just scream when I tried to get her to latch. They called in the lactation specialist to help with this “problem” and her words of wisdom were, and I quote, “Well you’re going to have to get her to calm down before you try again.” Ummmmm…that’s why she was called in the first place. The tears came, and many nurses wiped them, and one announced, much to my dismay, “We have a cryer!” Really?
In any event, MY determination prevailed, and I was able to BF my daughter for four months before my milk inexplicably dried up. She is just over 6 months now, and I still miss the closeness of it, and I wouldn’t trade in the experience ever. I would recommend it to any new mother. You will cry. You will have a tough time at first, but in the end, you will never experience anything like it. Thank you for sharing, and allowing me a forum to do so as well!
Thank you for writing this. I have my birth story here:
http://ourseasonsofjoy.com/book-review/book-review-the-four-teresas/
but long story short– I gave birth to twins vaginally and then went into heart failure as well as having a postpartum hemorrhage. The babies had formula for their first 2 1/2 weeks of life and are now, at 11 weeks, fully breastfed. And while some of my success is due to stubborness, I know a lot of it is just luck.
Poop, wrong link
http://ourseasonsofjoy.com/general/birth-story-of-matthew-of-molly/
This was a great read! I should lead with…I have a strong aversion to breast feeding advocates.
That being said…thanks for sharing. I too had an intensely difficult delivery. The difference is that I was harassed belittled and degraded for not breastfeeding. From the hospital staff to family and friends. It was aweful it was inappropriate and it was an invasion of my privacy. The choice to not breast feed can come from a position of education. I knew the arguements and I still made the choice which was appropriate for me.
Your post was well said. I believe that if more women like you calmly and lovingly advocate less women like me will avoid lactivists and their often tyrannical message. Nice work.
I just found this post after doing a search for breastfeeding after pre-eclampsia. I am a LLL leader and we are working on getting resources together for as many topics as possible. This is a big one that, for being so common, doesn’t seem to have a lot of time devoted to it.
I also had HELLP Syndrome and a traumatic birth experience with my first. I was diagnosed in labor (39 weeks, thank goodness) after having PIH for about 6 weeks. My doctor didn’t pick up the signs of HELLP and by the time I went into labor my platelet count was too low for an epidural–not something I’d ever known was even a possibility! I was put on mag and pitocin, and accepted the offer of Demerol as well. Then my daughter came out with a double nuchal cord and a nuchal hand. My husband told me last week–over three and a half years later–that she was completely gray and unmoving. Her first APGAR was a 5. Her second was an 8, but they still wanted to monitor her and put her under oxygen. I was out of it from the mag, the blood loss from the nuchal hand and didn’t know any better at the time. I wish someone had suggested skin to skin. I didn’t get to even see her until she was over 2 hours old. We started breastfeeding with the help of the LC, but my daughter was a little out of it, too, because of the Demerol, I assume. She nursed fine that day (a Friday), but of course we had problems the next. The low point came at 2 in the morning with the post-partum nurse warning me about my blood pressure rising and how I’d have to be re-admitted and she wouldn’t be able to come with me, and the peds nurse urging me to give her a bottle so we could both sleep. I gave in (after begging them not to tell my mother) and got some sleep that night.
Somehow–I have no idea how, especially considering I had a calm, intervention free birth with my second and had several issues getting breastfeeding started with him (never got a bottle, though!)–that was the only bottle she ever got. Things just worked out. I’m so glad, because breastfeeding her and being close to her really helped me overcome a lot of the sadness and trauma I felt surrounding her birth. My son’s birth two years later completed the healing process.
Anyway, thanks so much for writing this post. It’s really inspirational.
Iam sooo happy that I googled what I did because this website immediately popped up and this is the first article I have read on my condition and the OP had my story to a T. I went throught EVERYTHING EXACTLY as she had. And Im so grateful for your story because I thought it was just me.
The Mag drip and the drugs that they kept me on to save my life delayed so much of my progress which I didnt fully understand at all but now I do. As I was reading your story I had tears streaming down my face like in buckets cause I was so happy that someone understood. I am taking your advice and going to keep the upward climb to progress but now I know there is hope for me as long as I dont give up on myself. My son is now 10 days old and in the NICU still and will be for awhile. We had to do emergency c section early and he weighs 3.9 pounds now. Hopefully I can heal myself faster and be able to report great results for news in the future. Thanks again OP.